omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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