Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
