Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
