Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
