You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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