Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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