I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize