Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
