I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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