He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
