Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She swung at the pinata with crutches
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
