so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
