Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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