If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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