Can Purell be used as lube?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
