In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
