i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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