The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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