Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
