That's intense
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
