addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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