You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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