did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
