I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
