Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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