apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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