im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
