dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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