The brown eye won't let me do that either.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
