we have pet lesbian snakes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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