Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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