In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
