She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
