I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
