fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
third nipple confirmed
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