You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
