put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
