final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
