I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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