My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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