I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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