Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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