im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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