Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
