I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
