My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
