im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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