Sry I called you an 8
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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