Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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