im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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