i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
