And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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