Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
