The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
