Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
