The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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