I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
